March 29th, 2012
Christ Church Garden, City School, Austin, Texas – In an unprecedented show of force and might, The Christ Church Youth Group (1-0) defeated Bermuda Grass (30-1) 15 to nil this past Sunday night.
It was a beautiful late spring evening at Christ Church Garden and the undefeated Bermuda Grass came out looking pretty smug. There was even some talk of Bermuda Grass claiming Christ Church Garden as it’s new home field. But the Youth Group, a team full of rookies and with a few aging veterans sprinkled in, was taking no prisoners.
It was apparent in the first ten minutes of action that Bermuda Grass had met it’s match. The Youth Group spread out with rakes, hoes, hand spades, mattocks, gloves, bare hands and teeth. The beating Bermuda Grass took from all quarters was a sight to see and the rout was on. As soon as the Youth Group had defeated part of the Bermuda Grass team, they would cover the area with mulch, adding insult to injury.
For a brief moment, it looked like Bermuda Grass had found a way to stop the hemorrhage when it’s close ally and secret weapon, Poison Ivy, was called off the bench. But the Youth Group was undeterred, tromping through Ivy’s worst with little to no concern for personal well fare. Later this week, an injury report will be out to ascertain Ivy’s true damage to the team.
The game was called off when, with Bermuda badly beaten, the Youth pulled six cucumbers from the Garden. It was the first harvest from the Garden and showed who the victors were beyond any doubt.
Post game interviews from Bermuda included threats and promises to “be back, and in greater numbers”, but the Youth Group promised they would be there as well. Especially if there would be hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and cookies again next time.
A re-match is already scheduled for early next fall.